A complete utter and total failure
My brief experiment with becoming an insane evil occultist has come to a bitter end. Being beaten up by naked female virgins, burnt by candle wax and made most uncomfortable by itchy ceremonial robes I have decided to call it quits. And I wasn't able to conjure up Lincoln's ghost let alone a horrible-yet-magestic Great Old One. Life sometimes has a rather direct way of informing you that some things are simply not meant to be. I believe this was one of those cases.
So I'm back to being just boring old Grend31 again. I know many of you were looking forward to the exciting and disturbing adventures of insane evil occultist Grend31, but it's just not going to happen. I've returned the manual to the public library and returned with a book on basic lawncare. Because damn, our lawn needs some serious help.
So I'm back to being just boring old Grend31 again. I know many of you were looking forward to the exciting and disturbing adventures of insane evil occultist Grend31, but it's just not going to happen. I've returned the manual to the public library and returned with a book on basic lawncare. Because damn, our lawn needs some serious help.
9 Comments:
I think I have a better chance of being an evil occiltist then I do at keeping a nice lawn ;)
~K
It's definitely easier on the back to do incantations, bloodlettings and chanting.. that's for sure.
Dewdew's lawncare 101:
Don't water it and you don't have to mow it.
We don't dewdew. But it's not so much a lawn anymore as an organically diverse mini-jungle of weeds.
there's prolly a cure for cancer in there somewhere.
when i was growing up, my step-dad hated mowing the lawn. his philosophy (no matter what time of the year it happened to be) was that 'it'll be winter soon, and then it will all die, so there is no need to mow it'. our yard sucked. i would usually end up getting sick of it and mow it myself.
Grend with a farmers tan... not so appealing, I'm afraid. Aren't there any local kids looking to score an easy 20 bucks? Or, PRETEND like you will pay him for the lawn and when he comes to collect his money, you could sacrifice him... the Gods would be pleased with such brilliance, I assure you ;)
~K
Kendra: I seriously doubt it. What is in there is a serious crop of broadleaf, dandelions and creeping charlie. All of which have the medicinal value of a swift kick to the jimmy.
Cherish. Alas, it is not to be. And I am most likely going to have about the same success at renovating my lawn, should I decide to formally take this task to heart. For I have a black thumb. And I think Kate is on the money about the farmer tan, sadly.
Sandra: I took care of both my family's and my grandmother's yard growing up. I learned the Fine Art of Pruning Something 'Til It Is Nearly Dead from my dearly departed grandmother, rest her soul. The rest of my black thumb comes from simple cluelessness when it comes to making things grow.
Kate: Yeah, we'll pass on the farmer tan. In my younger days I could pass with it.. now it'd just look awfully silly. And I wasn't clear at all with the actual issue of our lawn.. it does get mowed.. regularly. It's just not really what I would consider a "lawn". A lawn consists of one maybe two species of grass. Not all that other stuff that I mentioned above. Oh, and it doesn't have a colony of moles living in it. Or big arse bare patches. Or make the neighbors collectively hire a hit man in hopes that the new people that move in don't pollute their pristine lawns with dandelion seeds and everspreading creeping charlie. I love the sacrificial lawn mower man idea though. Sadly those days are behind me now though.
A lawn of creeping charlie is a thing of beauty. I have transplanted some in my yard to help it spread. It doesn't grow as tall as grass and it's thicker.
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