My Masterplan for World Domination..
... well I can't tell you want it is right now, because "that would be telling".
I can tell you that there will be a few changes around here once I've finally have the world fully dominated. I think it would be best to give you a taste of what's to come, so you can be mentally prepared.
1.) There will be Naked Days. Because as El Lord Grande Poobah of the World I can make these sorts of decisions. They will be announced that morning on my public access television program which I'll be calling "Breakfast with the Poo-ster". So watch, carefully... penalties will be stiff.. wait I better rephrase that.. Naked Days will be rigidly enforced. That wasn't much better. You get the idea anyway.
2.) Teachers and professional athletes will swap salaries. Or sports teams can start playing to the death to actually earn their excessive salaries. I'll let them choose. Because I'll be a benevolent El Lord Grande Poobah in such matters.
3.) The world will be united under one religion.
4.) All of those who read this blog and contribute comments will be granted their own fiefdoms and be given the title of El Serfo Pequeno Poobette.
5.) Stupidity in all forms will be outlawed. Except mine, of course, which will be ridiculed daily by Jon Stewart on Comedy Central.
6.) Iceland will be conquered and renamed Left Wingnut Island. I think we know who will end up there.
7.) Greenland will be conquered and renamed Right Wingnut Island. I hope it'll be big enough.
Well, did I miss anything my potential Poobettes?
I can tell you that there will be a few changes around here once I've finally have the world fully dominated. I think it would be best to give you a taste of what's to come, so you can be mentally prepared.
1.) There will be Naked Days. Because as El Lord Grande Poobah of the World I can make these sorts of decisions. They will be announced that morning on my public access television program which I'll be calling "Breakfast with the Poo-ster". So watch, carefully... penalties will be stiff.. wait I better rephrase that.. Naked Days will be rigidly enforced. That wasn't much better. You get the idea anyway.
2.) Teachers and professional athletes will swap salaries. Or sports teams can start playing to the death to actually earn their excessive salaries. I'll let them choose. Because I'll be a benevolent El Lord Grande Poobah in such matters.
3.) The world will be united under one religion.
4.) All of those who read this blog and contribute comments will be granted their own fiefdoms and be given the title of El Serfo Pequeno Poobette.
5.) Stupidity in all forms will be outlawed. Except mine, of course, which will be ridiculed daily by Jon Stewart on Comedy Central.
6.) Iceland will be conquered and renamed Left Wingnut Island. I think we know who will end up there.
7.) Greenland will be conquered and renamed Right Wingnut Island. I hope it'll be big enough.
Well, did I miss anything my potential Poobettes?
13 Comments:
All of those who read this blog and contribute comments will be granted their own fiefdoms and be given the title of El Serfo Pequeno Poobette.
Yay! Is there a ceremony? How about clothes? Do we get "fief" clothes?
~K
Kate: Haven't decided whether or not that's a Naked Day yet.. I'll have to get back to you on that.
Angelic: Yes, you made it in the nick of time. Although life as a peon will be absolutely fantastic with me as the El LGPotW.
Beo: I have already drawn up plans for the gladiatorial arena and made pictures of the beasts my bioengineers will have to make for the games. It's all under control.
Is this all hush-hush or are we to warn our friends and families?
~K
The beauty of this entire operation Kate, is that if you do warn family and friends, they'll probably just point and laugh.
Which will make it all the more rewarding when we eventually look down from our positions of power and tell them they have to look at their naked coworkers for a day.
...and tell them they have to look at their naked coworkers for a day.
Oh GOD, we don't have to look at the naked co-workers too? Do we? There are MANY people with whom I work and would NOT want to see naked...
Or does our higher status keep us from having to look upon the common folk in all their nakedness?
I think that since we will have our own fiefdoms that we should be able to pick only the loveliest of creatures to have around us while naked.
Just a suggestion of course, El Lord Grande Poobah of the World...
~K
Naked Day = everyone. naked. Those Poobette's looking over their fiefdoms can probably manage to have some hotties around 'em for the day if they are clever enough.
Take a number. I'm already on this task of domination the universe...Please stop. Don't make me probe you.
Dammit I forgot to take a number again! It's always the small details that mess these things up...
*takes number* Whoohoo! #3...
We welcome probes here at The Lair. In fact we have a special this week on Wet Willies. Please see MooCow for your free sample.
Oh, and Eeky, you must have a GIF mix-up because your picture is clearly that of Brak. Who can't even master cleaning his own bedroom let alone dominate a planet.
i like fiefs.
can i wear wenchy type things with high waists that push my boobies up to my chin?
when i'm not naked, that is?
My new fashion police will be mandating wenchy clothing.
And any form of booby pushing will be *highly* encouraged.
Mmmmm... pubes and boobs.
Are you prepared for your fiefdom dewdew?
*blush* Awwww. this little old blog? It's not much, but thanks for the kind words.
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