The Safety Pants

A thousand and two apologies to Men Without Hats

This is, of course, for MooCow, and his plastic pants.

The Safety Pants

by Men Without Pants

Ah we can pants if we want to,
we can pants your friends "behind"
Cause your friends don't pants
and if they don't pants
Well they'll have no pants of mine!
I say, we can sho' wear what we want to
Some pants with pleats or cuffs or lined
And we can act like they're sewn from out of this world
Because our seamstress she resigned,
and we can pants fringe strings

Ah we can sew when we want to
needle's threaded through the eye
And we can dress real neat
when our pants are complete
and surprise 'em with a new button fly

I Say we can pants if we want to
We've the thread and we've the will
And if your pants have 'tude
When totally removed
Then your pants, they fit the bill

I say we can pants, we can pants
permanent press keeps its hold
We can pants, we can pants
along the crease is where you fold
We can pants, we can pants
thimbles on all of our hands
We can pants, we can pants
rolled up cuffs they enhance the...
Safety pants
Oh well the safety pants
Ah yes the safety pants

We can pants if we want to,
a little snug but i won't whine
As long as we rehem it
we'll never know a limit
Everything'll fit just right

I say, we can pants if we want to
we can pants your friends "behind"
Cause your friends don't pants
and if they don't pants
Well they'll have no pants of mine!
I say we can pants, we can pants
that zipper's way out of control
We can pants, we can pants
we're taking these mall to mall
We can pants, we can pants
thimbles on all of our hands
We can pants, we can pants
everybody's takin' Moo's pants

Oh Well the safety pants
ah yes the safety pants
Oh well the safety pants
Oh well the safety pants
Oh yes the safety pants
Oh the safety pants yeah
Oh it's the safety pants
It's the safety pants
Well it's the safety pants
Oh it's the safety pants
Oh it's the safety pants
Oh it's the safety pants
Oh it's the safety pants