Gummy Roadkill Rant
/rant mode on
Ok, some candy-manufacturing hick somewhere decided it'd be clever to make gummy roadkill complete with tiretracks. Now normally something this stupid would die an early death in the youth of life as a product. I mean their target market is basically prepubescent males working their way to sociopathdom and men who felt the need to be betrothed to their sister. This product was doomed, cursed, marked for failure and had formally dug its own grave. I mean think about it. The kids would have been too busy pulling apart real roadkill and we all don't even like to think about what those men are busy doing.
So what did the animal rights activists do? They make a big fucking hoopla about it. Lawyers, media attention, just the type free advertising to get this moronic product on the radar of every little Jeffrey-Dahmer-in-training and sibling-freller across our great nation. Way to go people. Way to spend your resources wisely. Don't you have a whale to unbeach somewhere or a baby seal to save by intervening your face between it and a big club. Sounds like you need some sense knocked into you anyway. Sometimes it's best to just let stupid ideas die on their own. Quietly. Painlessly.
And let me clarify this rant by stating that I firmly believe that animal rights activists overall agenda is noble. Cruelty to animals is high on my list of indicators that we are far from being the evolved species we've deluded ourselves into thinking we are. I hold true that your lowest common denominator must be your indicator. We have a long way to go. Clearly. But pick your battles wisely, spend your resources where they can count. Gummy candies for frelling sake? Get a life.
/rant mode off
Ok, some candy-manufacturing hick somewhere decided it'd be clever to make gummy roadkill complete with tiretracks. Now normally something this stupid would die an early death in the youth of life as a product. I mean their target market is basically prepubescent males working their way to sociopathdom and men who felt the need to be betrothed to their sister. This product was doomed, cursed, marked for failure and had formally dug its own grave. I mean think about it. The kids would have been too busy pulling apart real roadkill and we all don't even like to think about what those men are busy doing.
So what did the animal rights activists do? They make a big fucking hoopla about it. Lawyers, media attention, just the type free advertising to get this moronic product on the radar of every little Jeffrey-Dahmer-in-training and sibling-freller across our great nation. Way to go people. Way to spend your resources wisely. Don't you have a whale to unbeach somewhere or a baby seal to save by intervening your face between it and a big club. Sounds like you need some sense knocked into you anyway. Sometimes it's best to just let stupid ideas die on their own. Quietly. Painlessly.
And let me clarify this rant by stating that I firmly believe that animal rights activists overall agenda is noble. Cruelty to animals is high on my list of indicators that we are far from being the evolved species we've deluded ourselves into thinking we are. I hold true that your lowest common denominator must be your indicator. We have a long way to go. Clearly. But pick your battles wisely, spend your resources where they can count. Gummy candies for frelling sake? Get a life.
/rant mode off
3 Comments:
I hate gummy anything. Ick ick ick ick ick. It's GUMMY. *shudder*
I can't eat gummy anything with my new braces. Though I didn't really eat gummy things before very often. I saw this article on CNN and wondered how something like that could go to market.
Dear Grend31,
Save the Hippo's. SAVE THE HIPPOS!
Dr. H.O. Potamus
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