Top Ten Reasons Why I Haven't Been Posting Lately
10.) My secret agent life has been dipping too much into my blog writing time. Hey, don't laugh. It's true! In my recent time away I've vanquished Buttfinger, Dr. Nope and Kitty Copious. This secret agent stuff... yer not buying this are you? Fine. On to number...
9.) I was abducted by the government who offered me to aliens who needed my body for medical experiments. Which would explain why I feel so... "loose". Or maybe that's just work?
8.) Maybe I have been posting, but I traveled back in time and deleted them all because they revealed too many state secrets and secret recipes, and secret naughty positions. And I also accidently revealed I can time travel in one of them. Crrrrap. *warms up the Way Back Machine* Just forget this part, m'kay?
7.) Aren't there about a dozen or so other really cool blogs you should be reading instead of this one anyway?
6.) I've been super busy. Ok, fine, you caught me mildly busy. FINE, mildly lazy then. GOSH, OK, super lazy. Happy now? Gosh.
5.) My muse came to the conclusion she was a lesbian and left me upon my refusal of a complete sex change. I covet my boy parts. Is that so wrong?
4.) I was due to write some Grendku awards. But Moo made a Grendku and we all love to hear him bitch and moan about never getting an award. But where is all the bitching and moaning?
3.) Piss poor mood. Like you all don't have enough negativity in your lives and need my bile on a daily basis. And if I can barely tolerate myself why should I be inflicting myself on you poor souls?
2.) I got lost in the lowest tunnels of The Lair, again. Surprised?
and the number one reason why I haven't been posting lately is...
1.) *I* do not smell like cookies. I just smell. And who really wants to be around that?
9.) I was abducted by the government who offered me to aliens who needed my body for medical experiments. Which would explain why I feel so... "loose". Or maybe that's just work?
8.) Maybe I have been posting, but I traveled back in time and deleted them all because they revealed too many state secrets and secret recipes, and secret naughty positions. And I also accidently revealed I can time travel in one of them. Crrrrap. *warms up the Way Back Machine* Just forget this part, m'kay?
7.) Aren't there about a dozen or so other really cool blogs you should be reading instead of this one anyway?
6.) I've been super busy. Ok, fine, you caught me mildly busy. FINE, mildly lazy then. GOSH, OK, super lazy. Happy now? Gosh.
5.) My muse came to the conclusion she was a lesbian and left me upon my refusal of a complete sex change. I covet my boy parts. Is that so wrong?
4.) I was due to write some Grendku awards. But Moo made a Grendku and we all love to hear him bitch and moan about never getting an award. But where is all the bitching and moaning?
3.) Piss poor mood. Like you all don't have enough negativity in your lives and need my bile on a daily basis. And if I can barely tolerate myself why should I be inflicting myself on you poor souls?
2.) I got lost in the lowest tunnels of The Lair, again. Surprised?
and the number one reason why I haven't been posting lately is...
1.) *I* do not smell like cookies. I just smell. And who really wants to be around that?
19 Comments:
Yeah where the eff is my award?
If I had less to do at work, I'd write my own.
Aliens got you too?
Must be contagious!
Glad you're back :)
~K
wqfecwak
Moo: Geez Moo, I just gave you like 10 reasons why it doesn't exist. You need more? Since you'll probably be writing your own.. you wanna just do 'em all? Thanks. Appreciate it.
Kate: Was that you over on the other alien experimentation table? Thought I recognized you. Hope they were gentler with you than they were with me.
no one can smell you on the internets!
thank goodness you're alive!
I meant that metaphorically Miss Kendra. Or metaphysically. Or one of those fancy meta-words. I'm not sure which anymore.
And you'd know if I was dead by checking MooCow's blog.. watch for the "Ding-dong the Dork is Dead, the Dork is Dead, the Dork is Dead, Ding-dong the Doofus Dork is Deeeead" post. That'll be your first clue.
In reference to #10:
http://www2.fanscape.com/bond/bondgirlname/
Signed,
Jillian Juggs
You might smell, but we're used to you (and it) and you and Beo need to get back to the bloggedy blog blog thing.
Don't make me come over there--I might not leave.
Frankly, I like the bitter Grend, He amuses me.
I was looking for an award... then I just wanted acknowledgement.
Now...
I just want to see you *poke* and *touch* Moo...
Or tease him about something.
That works too!
Jesster: I am Blanc Von Schell!
Moe: Sometimes I can't find my own ass with my hands. It's really no wonder why I get lost down here.
Serra: What makes you think this isn't a ploy to get you to do just that?
Lady Dragonfly: Bitter Grend31 has his moments, but if I live there too long I overstay my welcome. I shall endeavor to get awards out, but I have no idea if it will be this week. Time is not on my side. I agree whole-heartedly that there *should* be more of the poking, prodding and even milking of the Moo. Alas, this may not be the week for it.
Oh yeah, my "spygirl name"?
Sela Moonshine
I'd better go get something leather to wear :)
~K
I think mine was more of a latex bodysuit name. But may call for a leather whip.
My spy name...
Elektra King
I think I need reaaly cool toys.
not just a whip... but some spears and leather and latex!
Oh yeah!
Wait .. are you sure you don't smell like cookies?
Don't tempt me, white boy. I'll expect to make soap and stuff if I don't leave. Considering how non-supportive they are about the soaping thing here, I can't imagine anyone else putting up with it either.
Blogger: Frell you and your little dog too.
Lady Dragonfly: That name makes me think you should have an electric eggbeater for some reason. And maybe a crown.
Mercy: Quite positive. I do shower every day. But I'm far the aroma of fresh-from-the-oven chocolately-chippee goodness.
Serra: Fortunately for you I'm coming down with a cold and shall be able to offer little resistance and/or hostility regarding soaping. Your soap, however, will hardly protect you from the lung hacking cold I'm sure I'm about to acquire.
Ok, mister, your ten reasons have officially expired.
Don't question me, this came from upstairs.
Yeah, you know who I mean.
Them.
Either ten new reasons, pronto.
Or a post.
Or fifty lashings.
Which will it be.
~K
Dear Kate,
We here at Grendku Industries have utmost faith the Grend31 shall once again post something. However, it shan't be any time soon. This is mainly due to the near endless amount of joy we are currently having by sending him all sorts of blogger errors and timeouts as he tries to get to blogger.com. He actually does appear to have something he wishes to post, which makes us even more giddy as we foil his attempt time and time again.
Oh, we've expigated the items about giving him lashings and the like in our communication to him, mainly due to the fact that you'll only be encouraging him not to post. Apparently he has something of a "thing" for receiving "lashings" from "hot chicks" such as yourself. For future reference, please don't encourage his inactivity in such a manner.
Yours in thwarting his posting,
Grendku Service Drone #13
an egg beater...
no...
at least make it a mixmaster...
I'll go for that...
they vibrate nicely...
Oh and the crown, I already have!
LDF
Ah, but my sope has sooper powers. Just ask Beo...if you can find him...
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