"With chainsaws! For hands! BZZZZZZ!"

Yes, we're starting this one out with another quote from my favorite Captain. I think I'm the only moron I know who can manage to cut up their hands while cutting up fruit that's already cut up. Office potluck. Forgot to bring anything. Mad dash to Rainblow. Bought a bajillion little lunch deli fruit cups because the wankers didn't have a fruit plate. And some cantelope smiles as well. And some cheap arse tupperware. Oh, and some strawberrys. Mad dash back. Madly cut up larger chunks of fruit into fruit salad bits and deflower the strawberries *snicker*. Stuff all fruit in cheap arse tupperware. Dash back to desk. Find finger just starting to bleed. Stupid potluck. Stupid head for forgetting. Stupid dexterity.

If I had chainsaws for hands, I'm sure I would have been excused from all this. I at least wouldn't have cut my hands. My hands would have done the cutting. Or maybe I could have brought a kick ass ice sculpture or something. Thank the PTB this is my Friday.