A Family Tragedy
I'm sure you have all read on Moo's blog that he and Hills have broken up. Just when we thought we'd have Moo married off and creating little MooCalves the world rears its ugly head and denies us again. Damned. Cruel. World.
The following is a list of things that I won't be doing to console our poor Moo:
1.) Hunt down this little heartbreaker named The Hillster and fill her car with packing peanuts and black pepper.
2.) Call Moo up at random times during the day and sing songs to him that affirm he'll always have my undying love.
3.) Email "Our Little Spandex-Covered Missile" naked pictures of myself to tide himself over until he gets a new squeeze.
4.) Send Moo a mail order bride. Slavery is wrong in any circumstance people. Even if Moo is hurting.
5.) Show up on his doorstep as a "male order bride" in a wedding dress and issue commands for him to clean his room. As any good male order bride would.
And why won't I be doing these things? It's quite simple. Moo wouldn't want me to do these things. So out of respect for him and to help him through the grieving I shall abstain from doing these things. Because I'm just that nice of a guy.
The following is a list of things that I won't be doing to console our poor Moo:
1.) Hunt down this little heartbreaker named The Hillster and fill her car with packing peanuts and black pepper.
2.) Call Moo up at random times during the day and sing songs to him that affirm he'll always have my undying love.
3.) Email "Our Little Spandex-Covered Missile" naked pictures of myself to tide himself over until he gets a new squeeze.
4.) Send Moo a mail order bride. Slavery is wrong in any circumstance people. Even if Moo is hurting.
5.) Show up on his doorstep as a "male order bride" in a wedding dress and issue commands for him to clean his room. As any good male order bride would.
And why won't I be doing these things? It's quite simple. Moo wouldn't want me to do these things. So out of respect for him and to help him through the grieving I shall abstain from doing these things. Because I'm just that nice of a guy.
11 Comments:
No Beo, your blindness was caused by that other thing you do. Hopefully you aren't doing it while you are reading my blog at work. Not because it is sick and wrong. I think we all know I can't throw any stones there. I'd just hate for you to get fired if you get caught.
Handful being the operative word, of course.
My god I'm easy to bait. I really must do something about that.
Wow...I guess I never realized how nice you are...
There's so much you don't know about me Moo. And out of the kindness of my heart, I'll refrain from educating you.
well if this is all it takes to be nice, then count me in.
i will also not fill her car with peanuts and pepper, or even balloons and shaving cream.
i too will not arrive dressed as a male order bride.
although i have been checking the websites, and seriously, moo...
you might want to give it a try.
mine arrives next thursday,
Kendra: I hope you ordered a man with 20/20 vision and the manual dexterity of a surgeon. He would be able to shave your legs for you! You would no longer need to worry about that pesky eyesight and blood loss thing.
it is pesky....
but it also gives the system a good heave ho, making room for all the new drugs and alcohol.
keith richards taught me that.
I think Keith is the Grim Reaper in disguise having a kick at being mortal for a little bit. I mean.. he couldn't really cheat himself now could he?
I really really don't want to hear about things Beo does that make him go blind...really.
But the "filling Hill's car with peanuts and black pepper?" I can get behind that. Moo's a nice guy. Granted I'm not the kind of girl he'd like, but I wish I knew one he would. Seriously. I never set people up, but if there was anyone (besides Beo) who deserves a nice someone, it's MooCow.
If Beo is blind, so are the rest of us.
The Sears catalog, baby oil and a Kiwi fruit... nothing there to be ashamed of.
Serra: Don't worry, we've all wanted to know what paint thinner tasted like from time to time. Beo will be fine I'm sure. Oh, or were you referring to Beo being A Mighty Mastur of his Dirty Domain? *snicker* *ducks* Ah yes, I've made many a sacrifice to my Dark Gods that Beo and Moo would find someone special as well, but alas. The Dark Gods mock me. Oh, and they don't grant my wishes as well.
Dewdew: "Shame" - I've heard of this thing before. I should perhaps try to experience it sometimes before the Dark Gods collect my nethery bits and consume them.
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