Grendku Awards Ceremony: The Duel

Hello. I'll be your game master for this post. Our opponents square off...

dewdew said, "The ninja gives it to the pirate's jimmy for 4 points of damage with her numb-chucks."

The pair is well matched
But the pirate has one eye.
The ninja - she wins

kendra said, "The pirate calls upon The Wrath of His Noodly Appendage causing the ninja for 3 points of damage."

clearly pirates win. they are
endorsed by the great
flying spaghetti monster.

cherish said, "The pirate then charms the ninja into complacency then gives him a poke with his curved sabre of love for about 6 points of damage. Well, closer to 5 actually."

Pirates win by a landslide
Ninjas are great but
Johnny never portrayed one

VegasGustan said. "The ninja retaliates, giving the pirate the dreaded Sum-Yung-Bung Kung-fu Grip rendering unto the pirate 2 points of abdominal distress damage."

Swashbuckle be damned I say,
I am the master,
So Sayeth Bruce Leroy, Yeah!

MooCow said, "Frell y'all I'm pulling out m' Flying Shark," and promptly has a snack of Mrs. Black Pajamas and a Frilly Garbed Eyepatch Wearing Frou-Frou Boy.

Are you people drunk?
The flying shark beats flying
'Gator every time!

And there we have it. Flying Shark wins every time. And now I'm sad. We just saw the end of both the pirate and the ninja. I really wanted to know who would win. I'm too sad to give awards. Gonna go weep over the corpses of my poor dead pirate and ninja now. *toddles off to have a good cry*