Grendku Awards Ceremony: The "Please Shoot Me Now" Version
Lots of creations this week. Lots of awards to give. Let's get on with it!
Darth Smallberries puts all of us striving towards parenthood avoidance in a firm Force-chokehold in his haiku entitled If You Only Understood the Power of the Decay Rate of Latex in Relation to Bodyheat over Time. In hopes that he will release us from this mass-chokehold I am going to grant him the following award: Fabricated Fort to Forbid Fertility Found Fallibile: Fate Forces Fortunate Fatherhood Award.
Kendra, hail and welcome to The Lair! I believe I got the sense from your Grendku that you do not like going to the dentist perhaps? I love it. Having gloved hands and sharp metal instruments shoved into my mouth is my idea of fun. Other things I really really like: bamboo slivers crammed up my fingernails, sea salt sprinkled in my eyes and being hung upside down for hours on end. Kendra, for your creative Grendku I am calling Mfuggala (which in dentist-speak translates roughly to "I can't wait to get the hell out of here") I am honored to present you with the Ductile Dental Dam Determines Diction Distortion Award.
Vegas is a man who is all about presenting options and finding the solutions. In his Haiku But Avoid the Cellophane he proves there is no barrier that will prevent him using a barrier. For his contribution to relations everywhere we here at Grendku Industries are proud to bestow unto him the Allergies to Artificial Apparel Afford Artistic Alternatives Award.
Dewdew puts on his work belt and gets ready to have a go at his brand spanking new garage in Paint-Air. And yes, as usual, all he's wearing is that work belt. Just the way we like it. And I'm first in the line for the spankings! Yay! As usual Dewdew, I have your naughty award primed and ready for you. You have every right to claim the Training us to Tailor Tint with his Techno Torrent Thrust Toy Award.
Serra informs us that she requires hand protection in the course of her creative endeavors. Her Honey, of course, cannot resist the typical Diversive Male Thought Patterns during her use of these gauntlets. Like any of us wonderfully simple male creatures could. Serra for your endeavors you are given the Manufactured Mittens Make Main Man Mull Mischievous Musings Award.
Dragonfly sings the praises of sterile gloves in her Grendku Keep. Your. Germs. I mean really people, and you know who you are, your own filthy nasty icky stuffs should be kept to.. yes.. YOURSELF. We don't want it. We never have wanted it. We didn't ask for it. You nasty bastards. Dragonfly I render unto you this one Bendable Bactericidal Barrier Beckoned to Battle Boorish Barnyard Behavior Award.
Moocow decides to get all techie on our buttocks in his creation I am calling Geekius Agilius Scriptus (or GAS for short). As a programmer he must make the astoundingly difficult decision as to what to use to create his magical masterpieces of coding brilliance. It's a tough decision for some. But not our Moo. He knows what he wants in his companion for those intimate scripting moments. And apparently he'll use any of 'em to receive his commanding cryptic codin' luuuuv. Moo, take the Executive Editors are Essentially Engendered Equally Award. No, really. Take it.
Paula describes some experiences with paint that most likely few of us have in her Grendku Worn. We should learn from her wisdom. Paint is to be worn only by the serious enthusiast who has a very high pain tolerance. For her bravery in attempting this, and her courage in sharing the pain that we all know we'd share at one time or another if it wasn't for the warning I give unto Paula the Serious Shortage of a Soft Safe and Simple Smooth Stripper Award.
That wraps up another awards ceremony folks. I'm outta here.
Darth Smallberries puts all of us striving towards parenthood avoidance in a firm Force-chokehold in his haiku entitled If You Only Understood the Power of the Decay Rate of Latex in Relation to Bodyheat over Time. In hopes that he will release us from this mass-chokehold I am going to grant him the following award: Fabricated Fort to Forbid Fertility Found Fallibile: Fate Forces Fortunate Fatherhood Award.
Kendra, hail and welcome to The Lair! I believe I got the sense from your Grendku that you do not like going to the dentist perhaps? I love it. Having gloved hands and sharp metal instruments shoved into my mouth is my idea of fun. Other things I really really like: bamboo slivers crammed up my fingernails, sea salt sprinkled in my eyes and being hung upside down for hours on end. Kendra, for your creative Grendku I am calling Mfuggala (which in dentist-speak translates roughly to "I can't wait to get the hell out of here") I am honored to present you with the Ductile Dental Dam Determines Diction Distortion Award.
Vegas is a man who is all about presenting options and finding the solutions. In his Haiku But Avoid the Cellophane he proves there is no barrier that will prevent him using a barrier. For his contribution to relations everywhere we here at Grendku Industries are proud to bestow unto him the Allergies to Artificial Apparel Afford Artistic Alternatives Award.
Dewdew puts on his work belt and gets ready to have a go at his brand spanking new garage in Paint-Air. And yes, as usual, all he's wearing is that work belt. Just the way we like it. And I'm first in the line for the spankings! Yay! As usual Dewdew, I have your naughty award primed and ready for you. You have every right to claim the Training us to Tailor Tint with his Techno Torrent Thrust Toy Award.
Serra informs us that she requires hand protection in the course of her creative endeavors. Her Honey, of course, cannot resist the typical Diversive Male Thought Patterns during her use of these gauntlets. Like any of us wonderfully simple male creatures could. Serra for your endeavors you are given the Manufactured Mittens Make Main Man Mull Mischievous Musings Award.
Dragonfly sings the praises of sterile gloves in her Grendku Keep. Your. Germs. I mean really people, and you know who you are, your own filthy nasty icky stuffs should be kept to.. yes.. YOURSELF. We don't want it. We never have wanted it. We didn't ask for it. You nasty bastards. Dragonfly I render unto you this one Bendable Bactericidal Barrier Beckoned to Battle Boorish Barnyard Behavior Award.
Moocow decides to get all techie on our buttocks in his creation I am calling Geekius Agilius Scriptus (or GAS for short). As a programmer he must make the astoundingly difficult decision as to what to use to create his magical masterpieces of coding brilliance. It's a tough decision for some. But not our Moo. He knows what he wants in his companion for those intimate scripting moments. And apparently he'll use any of 'em to receive his commanding cryptic codin' luuuuv. Moo, take the Executive Editors are Essentially Engendered Equally Award. No, really. Take it.
Paula describes some experiences with paint that most likely few of us have in her Grendku Worn. We should learn from her wisdom. Paint is to be worn only by the serious enthusiast who has a very high pain tolerance. For her bravery in attempting this, and her courage in sharing the pain that we all know we'd share at one time or another if it wasn't for the warning I give unto Paula the Serious Shortage of a Soft Safe and Simple Smooth Stripper Award.
That wraps up another awards ceremony folks. I'm outta here.
13 Comments:
I'd like to thank myself, because...well...I rule.
Thank me!
I believe the appropriate statement, Vegas, is *ahem* "I rool tha skool".
So, forewith all reading Vegas's comment must read it as the above forementioned.
The alliteration... it's... it's... it's so beautiful I must look away.
And I quote...
I mean really people, and you know who you are, your own filthy nasty icky stuffs should be kept to.. yes.. YOURSELF. We don't want it. We never have wanted it. We didn't ask for it.
Translation: Don't touch me.
See?!?!? See??
I feel vindicated...
So, Moo you really just want to be hugged right?
AC: Welcome to The Lair AC.. haven't seen you round these parts! Didn't mean to blind you man.. I'll try to remember to post a warning next time
Moo: The word you were looking for was "violated" not "vindicated". *touch*
Vegas: He's always jonesing for a little action. He's such a whore.
*sniff* i got an award!
i feel so special.
You are special Kendra. And it's got nothing to do with me. :D
Thanks Grend31, my mantle looks great with all of those awards. I especially like the well-endowed little guy on the last one.
Yes, but upon reflection I can see that it is somewhat redundant to supply your man-tle with something well-endowed.
In other words, it "fits right in".
It is almost to late to accept this - stupid vacation is killing my on-line time... but I love that award.
Thanks Grend.
Oh - and for MooCow..
(Snaps on latex glove)
*Touch*
My awards are like Twinkies.. They have a shelf-life of a bajillion years. Feel free to pick 'em up any time you want. :D
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