Awardes de Grendku Por Mis Comrades (now color-coded for your viewing pleasure)

It's Tuesday morning. I'm tired, cranky, don't wanna be at work, not well rested, minorly sore because I slept funny, tired and cranky. And in case I wasn't clear, I'm tired and cranky. Full of crank. Not the drug mind you. Just the attitude. Fortunately I get to create the Awards this morning which makes it all better. So let's get on with it.

Starting us off this week is Kate, who, if my sources are correct, works for an undercover branch of the Partiality and Purifying of Progeny division. That intel came at a heavy price. I lost three good agents gathering it who are now completely enamored with katehopeeden's blog and won't read anything else. How am I supposed to give them assignments if they won't check in at The Lair to pick up their super secret imbedded coded crypic messages? *sigh* For her trio of 'kus I am calling Familial Maneuvers I am granting Kate the Nimble Nurturing Ninja Award.

Dewdew hits me with four 'kus this week. I was initially partial to the car spaceship one, but then he had to go write the naughty one about his Secret Pants, which totally threw off my balance and slammed my trophy granting flat on its back. Which we all know is only one of the myriad of positions that Dewdew can send us if he so desires. So for his strong kudo judo dewdew receives the Toting a Tank in my Top Secret Trousers Award.

Paula underestimates my spy network's ability to surveil her spyish comings and goings in Quit Starin' at Me! Sadly as I've lost three members due to Kate's blog and will no longer be able to know exactly when she's playing CoH (which she uses to send directives to her operatives via chat channels), doing laundry (well, this is just actually her freshening up of the wardrobe), heading out to work (trying to lose the numerous tails I once had tracking her) and coming home from work (still trying to lose the numerous tails). So this week I have to grant Paula victory against my less-than-formidable and nearly-almost-competant spy-underlings with a Retreating Rightly Due to the Restraining Regulation Award.

Vegas totally failed to give us a spoiler warning in his 'ku Vegas "I-put-the-ram-in-Rambaldi" Gustan or Who's Yo Daddy? Take your pick on titles. But it's not like we didn't see it coming. Vaughn couldn't knock up a board on a tree if you gave him a hammer, nails and a board. Mainly because he's still trying to come to grips with his repressed love for Sloane. To Vegas is given the Slippery Slick Seminal Spy Sex Award. And Vegas... I have no idea if Jack is going to kick your ass or break out the cigars. If it were me, I'd bank on the ass-kicking and start running, like yesterday.

Fortunately for us Alice's 'ku Three Two One must have had a faulty timer and didn't blow up in our faces. Typically I request that 'kus do not contain compact thermonuclear devices with fool proof timed detonators, but I realize with a topic such as this, I have to expect the unexpected. Normally I have one of my lackey-slave-spies do all my disarming work, but as I have a bit of an employee shortage I had to figure out what to do with it all by my lonesome. I've dunked it in water and poked at it with a stick, so I think we're safe. Alice, this week you take home the Medal for More or Less Mushrooming Messages Award.

We all need role models to look up to in our business, and Darth Smallberries apparently did his research well in finding mine. When I was growing up I wanted to be just like Maxwell. Particularly if it meant I got my very own personal shoephone and my very own personal Agent 99. Except mine was going to be an Agent 69. Wait a sec.. I'm beginning to both regress and digress. Too many 'gresses. Darth, for your contributions of things 'ku-ish in nature I present to you the Quest for Questionable Quintessence Award. I'm so never doing a Q award again.

And last, but never ever least, we have this little gem from Moo. You'll have to give me a sec as I'm recomposing myself, wiping away the tears of joy and letting this feeling of bliss wash over me like a gentle cool rain. We now have a Grendku in our Archives of All Eternity that uses the phrase "Pussy Galore". I think that my life may just about be complete. Yep, I just checked, that'll do it. I'm gonna go have a bit of a lie down and wait for the Great Green Arkleseizure to collect me, but in the meantime Moo, enjoy this mantlepiece dust collecter: I Guided Grend31 to the Gigantic Gates of the Great Green Arkleseizure Award.