The Bestowal of the Brigadiere

Dear Mister Dewdew,

Your inquiry regarding my choice of fermented potables has me in a bit of a quandry. If I gather correctly from Smiggins, you actually want to know if it's acceptable, as it were, to drink only ale or a port. It's rather like asking me if prefer a nice chauffeured jaunt in the Rolls with trusty Smiggins at the wheel or if I wish to have a rollicking romp in the Aston Martin with myself in the cockpit. Two different things old chap. Unsimilar moods entirely.

For instance. This evening Smiggins will be preparing an exquisite cut of rump roast. He would no more try to serve it with bogwater than with a Chateau Mouton Rothschild Pauillac. He knows that if this blessed block of beef is not accompanied by a fine dark stout he's likely to find himself in a bit of a pickle!

And yet that same pickle can be found if my evening sherry isn't served spot on quarter past eight. Odd thing about that pickle. It seems to occupy many different places all at once. Rather confusing really. I try not to think about it too much.

My point Mister Dewdew is that all things have their time and place. And if these times are missed by those who are mandated by their social graces, there must be consequences. Pickles if you were. Expectations Mr. Dewdew must be set and kept. Remember this above all else when you are dealing with your Man-Child Servant.

Yours can be sent by the post,
Sir Brigadiere General Grend31, Mrs.




Dear Ms. Paula,

You will have to forgive me Ms. Paula. I believe Smiggins has somehow bungled up your question, for there doesn't appear to be a question here, at all. Something or other about nasty beer I think he mentioned. Well I'll assure you there is none of that upon my estate! My cellar is stocked with kegs of the finest English ales and stouts. All from finest brewsmiths the C of E has to offer! *hhhrrrmmmph*

Yours humbly milady,
Sir Brigadiere General Grend31, Mrs.





Dear Lady Dragonfly,

Cheers and good wishes and all that! I'm not quite sure if I gather the gist of this "blogging" thing. I'm simply responding to things brought to me in the magic post. My understanding of it is that Smiggins spends hours at this magical box where he gets my magic messages. He then writes these messages down for me by hand and brings them to me. He then transcribes my answers down on paper to take back to "put into" into this magical box. It's all quite fast and efficient it seems. No time at all really.

And as a general rule Lady Dragonfly, as my great grandfather once told me, if something is trying to consume you, it's best to pull out the old blunderbuss and give it the business end of it before it works its way to digesting you.

Yours in all things brilliant,
Sir Brigadiere General Grend31, Mrs.



Dear Mister Hofzinser,

Oh dear. That does not look well my friend. I really should have Smiggins take a look at that for you. He's become quite the expert in dealing with my corns, boils, rashes, blotches, hives, growths and the occasional plague I seem to encounter.

I'll tell you what. I'll send him 'round to your place right after he's finished belt-sanding my morning corns?

Yours most painfully,
Sir Brigadiere General Grend31, Mrs.