Grendku Awards Ceremony or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love My Job
This episode of GAC is brought to you by non-work...
Alright, "love" might be a bit of a stretch. Tolerate. We'll run with tolerate then.
Five participants in the Grendku Friday ritual. We started with funky transmissions and ended with portable girlfriends. All in all: a major success.
Our newest member of the Grendku Friday Club (first rule of Grendku Friday Club - do NOT talk about...) VegasGustan hints that he may be a techno-audiophile in his haiku Happy. I've been saving this award for a rainy day and the right situation: VG unto you is rendered the Hooked on Electro-Phonics Dub Jam Award. Yo-yo. Damn, there are rural alleys with more street cred than I've got. Sorry 'bout that. Just call me Wonderbread-boy.
Paula handily grabs the This Transmission is Coming to You Award for her Grendku Receiver. She has an opportunity to snag this extra award: I'm So Very Damned Cool 'Cause I Know What That Award Refers To Award if she can name the song to which it refers and the corresponding artist. No Helpees! You hear that Jesster?? No Helpees!
Serra celebrates our resident Techno-Lord Beo in The Silicon Resurrection. Imagine our little Beo running around lopping off the heads of the Heavily Armed and Skilled Computer Problem People. Now imagine him screaming "There can be only one!" for every computer he's conquered. It's a lotta screaming. And it's giving me a headache. Serra, you have won The Komputer Kwickening Award for giving me that crazy image of Beo, holding screwdriver high, getting hit with lightning bolt after lightning bolt.
And speak of the devil. Beo reminds us that even immortal head-problem-lopping Techno-Lords are susceptible to breakdowns and mishaps in We Are Not Alone. Everyone and their brother is Captain Kirk now. Instead of hollering at Scotty to beam our fat asses up somewhere and listening to Scotty whine because his transporter can't handle your luv handles we listen to hold music and recordings about how someone will be right with us because we are so valuable. Personally I'd rather listen to pre-recorded messages of Scotty telling us how "She just can't take much more of this...." then about how frelling valuable I am. Just a whimsy. Beo, you get the Kirk... to Enterprise, Kirk to... Enterprise... Award.
And last but by no means least dewdew does the nasty entry, preventing me from taking it out on some poor random person in their award. Ahhhh.. where to begin. The Pleasure of Plastics? The Elation of Elastics? The Sensuality of Synthetics? It's all so good. I can't pick.. fine... I'm calling it all three. But dewdew, this makes me think that science and technology still have a ways to go. In this spirit I render unto you the In the Future There Will Be a Detachable Penis and All Will Be Good Award. Just remember that if you lose it, wash it before you reattach it when you finally get it back.
*and*
It would appear that MooCow is just slipping one in just barely under the wire. And it's about me. And it's all lies. My "neener neener" was clearly an enhancement to the song. Particularly considering the situation. Which I can't really remember. With this in mind I'm calling his contribution, which is neither Grendku nor haiku but instead is a freeform 5-7-6 mutant hybrid creation, Bob's Eel-ly Male Enhancement. MooCow should be properly awarded for his bravery though. MooCow this one's for you: Holy Crap I Survived an Outing Having Grend31 as a Passenger in my Car and Managed to be Uber-Unique by Creating Neither a Grendku nor Haiku Award. Some awards require that many words. Is it surprising that it's MooCow's award that pushes the word to award ratio? I think you all know the answer to that question.
Alright, "love" might be a bit of a stretch. Tolerate. We'll run with tolerate then.
Five participants in the Grendku Friday ritual. We started with funky transmissions and ended with portable girlfriends. All in all: a major success.
Our newest member of the Grendku Friday Club (first rule of Grendku Friday Club - do NOT talk about...) VegasGustan hints that he may be a techno-audiophile in his haiku Happy. I've been saving this award for a rainy day and the right situation: VG unto you is rendered the Hooked on Electro-Phonics Dub Jam Award. Yo-yo. Damn, there are rural alleys with more street cred than I've got. Sorry 'bout that. Just call me Wonderbread-boy.
Paula handily grabs the This Transmission is Coming to You Award for her Grendku Receiver. She has an opportunity to snag this extra award: I'm So Very Damned Cool 'Cause I Know What That Award Refers To Award if she can name the song to which it refers and the corresponding artist. No Helpees! You hear that Jesster?? No Helpees!
Serra celebrates our resident Techno-Lord Beo in The Silicon Resurrection. Imagine our little Beo running around lopping off the heads of the Heavily Armed and Skilled Computer Problem People. Now imagine him screaming "There can be only one!" for every computer he's conquered. It's a lotta screaming. And it's giving me a headache. Serra, you have won The Komputer Kwickening Award for giving me that crazy image of Beo, holding screwdriver high, getting hit with lightning bolt after lightning bolt.
And speak of the devil. Beo reminds us that even immortal head-problem-lopping Techno-Lords are susceptible to breakdowns and mishaps in We Are Not Alone. Everyone and their brother is Captain Kirk now. Instead of hollering at Scotty to beam our fat asses up somewhere and listening to Scotty whine because his transporter can't handle your luv handles we listen to hold music and recordings about how someone will be right with us because we are so valuable. Personally I'd rather listen to pre-recorded messages of Scotty telling us how "She just can't take much more of this...." then about how frelling valuable I am. Just a whimsy. Beo, you get the Kirk... to Enterprise, Kirk to... Enterprise... Award.
And last but by no means least dewdew does the nasty entry, preventing me from taking it out on some poor random person in their award. Ahhhh.. where to begin. The Pleasure of Plastics? The Elation of Elastics? The Sensuality of Synthetics? It's all so good. I can't pick.. fine... I'm calling it all three. But dewdew, this makes me think that science and technology still have a ways to go. In this spirit I render unto you the In the Future There Will Be a Detachable Penis and All Will Be Good Award. Just remember that if you lose it, wash it before you reattach it when you finally get it back.
*and*
It would appear that MooCow is just slipping one in just barely under the wire. And it's about me. And it's all lies. My "neener neener" was clearly an enhancement to the song. Particularly considering the situation. Which I can't really remember. With this in mind I'm calling his contribution, which is neither Grendku nor haiku but instead is a freeform 5-7-6 mutant hybrid creation, Bob's Eel-ly Male Enhancement. MooCow should be properly awarded for his bravery though. MooCow this one's for you: Holy Crap I Survived an Outing Having Grend31 as a Passenger in my Car and Managed to be Uber-Unique by Creating Neither a Grendku nor Haiku Award. Some awards require that many words. Is it surprising that it's MooCow's award that pushes the word to award ratio? I think you all know the answer to that question.
17 Comments:
hmm didn't that come from The Astronots? :)
Yes, yes it did. But the sample is used in one of my favorite songs.
Oooh. Can I help? You didn't say I couldn't help.
Well and I couldn't do a haiku because you were doing them so I had to do my own thing dog.
*joins Grend in the wonderbread aisle*
Of course you can't help. No helpees means everyone. The award is only available to Paula. So if anyone helps her.. they'll essentially be yanking that award away from her and smashing it to a bajillion pieces. Capiche?
So now we got Mooku's?
Another Paula original.
Okay, for anyone keeping syllable score...
Haiku (5-7-5)
Grendku (7-5-7) *
Mooku (5-7-6) *
*All Rights Reserved (Paula)
Used with the permission of Paula.
As I touch MooCow
He pulls away and blushes
Secretly he likes it
Moo'kus are fun!
*touch*
ok here it is...
High Roller by The Crystal Method
I found it on Google all by myself!
Don't touch me...
You win Paula! Bingo!
Another Mooku:
MooCow loves the touch.
How do I know this to be?
I touched him last weekend.
The proper response to Paula is:
YOU GOT IT.
(Dweedlee dweedlee dweet dee dee..or some such thing)
Yes, yes it was Jesster, totally missed opportunity. *sigh*
moocow...nice utters, begging to be touched.
Hail and welcome Swayer.
Beware the Lair, it's a nasty place sometimes.
Oh, and Moo doesn't like to have his udders touched.
By anyone other than me.
Oh, and since Moo isn't paying attention...
Moo: Don't touch me.
Me: You love me! *touch*
Moo: I hate you! Don't touch me! GAAAH!
nice sock puppets grend!
Actually that was done with crudely crafted naked marionettes. Socket Puppet Theatre (c) is a copyrighted product of MooCow Industries and I'd never dream of plagiarizing it. Which is why I use.. crudely crafted naked marionettes.
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