Good Day...
...I am Number 12, your slightly wooden and almost helpful Grendku Service Rep drone here with a special announcement:
We here at Grendku Industries would like to formally apologize for yesterday's post which somehow slipped through our recently patented new and improved Grend31 Bile Filtration System (tm). We have replaced the old filtration system with our latest version which also purees food, does your taxes and watches over your offspring while you are off trying to foolishly regain your youth at clubs where you pretend to recognize the hip music and shamelessly bust out dance moves whilest hoping and praying you do not slip that lower disc again. We recommend you always check the settings on your Grend31 Bile Filtration System before you leave your home, otherwise you may find that it did your food, watched your taxes and pureed your offspring. Read your manual carefully - particularly the Darwin Disclaimer section.
Regarding Grend31, he's been banished from posting again until he can acquire himself a modicum of refreshing slumber. Again, leave all of your complaints, comments and concerns below where we may properly sift, sort and incinerate them to heat the working space for our indentured serv... I mean our employees.
Remorselessly,
Grendku Industries Service Rep Drone #12
4 Comments:
i've ben trying to comment all freaking morning.
now.
number twelve has no mommydaddybutton.
brilliance.
Miss Kendra,
Regarding your, shall we say, inquiry of my umbilically-challenged midsection:
When you are a Fiend of the Pits, hopping along minding your own business (business being mainly stabbing and poking and burning up nasty-wasty little souls that have come your way via the Big Red Man) and you find yourself summoned up by Grendku Legal Department, thrust into a small wooden artist mannequin and end up having to serve as a service representative for this place you find you have little need for a bloody belly button.
We hope that clears things up for you and yours.
Spitefully,
Grendku Industries Service Rep Drone #12
Look here Droney,
That whole effed up WV this morning was a smooth way of making it look like none of us cared.
Here's the facts bucko, you have been holding the Grend hostage long enough.
You will, that's right, will be allowing him to post again or by golly you will incur the wrath of Kate.
And Kate is not one to be effed with.
Got it?
Good.
~K
*yaaaaawn*
Miss Kate,
There is absolutely nothing you could possibly do to me that is more painful and demeaning than having your life entity shoved inside a little wooden man and having a metal rod crammed up your posterior. A nice try though I must admit. I may have a place for you in our Scorn and Wrath division if I ever get back to my real job.
At any rate it was not my personal handiwork that banished him from posting. That was the sloppy work of Inhuman Resources. I would have had him flayed alive and forced him to eat his own intestines. *sigh* I miss home.
Wistfully,
Grendku Industries Service Rep Drone #12
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