Grendku Awards Ceremony: I set myself up Version
I just realized that I now have to deal with the Aftermath of Everyone's Aftermath.
Predictable stormfronts and morons, nature's way of reminding us that natural selection is alive and well in this day and age. I'm not sure if there is any other testament needed to the fact that we've grown into a lazy and stupid country. I mean c'mon people. She lives in Oil Country and can't frelling get gas! Kate snaps up the Roughly Rattled and Ravingly Reeling From Rita and Impugning Impractical and Imprudent Idiots Award. Double letter award no less!
Beo's creation this week makes me cry. And just when I stop crying to make an award for it, I have to reread it to get back in the mood to write the award. And I start crying again. There is so much in the way of Aftermath in this one. Getting up and going to work day after day... ok.. I've just gotta try to get the award out for this one and move on... Beo gets the Angry at Antagonistic and Anal Austrians for yet Another Assault on His Ability to Actually Attain Arcadian Actualization Award. Sweet jeebus. That was a keyboardful there. I think I broke a pinkie. Wait, no.. it's just crooked. Like it's always been. Genetics are so cool.
Miss Kendra blazes into the uncharted territories of high math and quantum mechanics this week in her 'ku creation. For her creative contribution to all things 'kuish we bestow unto her the Teaching Trigonometrics Tween Temporal Tedium Takes Tenacity and Tempered Tones Award. You are advised to never speak this award aloud. Grendku Industries is not responsible for any sprained tongues due to attempts to articulate this award. You have been warned.
Dewdew's Math of the After should sound familiar to all of us. Put in a long week at work, go home for the weekend, clean the house, which means scrape the bodily fluids off the walls and ceiling from last weekend, and apply a fresh new coat. Or is that just me? I seriously doubt it. Dewdew I am standing proud and presenting you with the one and only Overjoyed Ode to Observing the On-again-Off-again Orgasmic Overrunning Organic Overlay Award. Which sounds like it should come with a putty scraper, but it doesn't. I know you have your own anyway.
Darth, welcome back! You were sorely missed, sir. Ok, the "Life Support" thing, yeah, that's scaring me a little. Please say you were joking. Please? Pretty please with sugar and spice? The word around here is that you are contractually bound to stick around with the living to provide us with your contributions towards Grendku Friday. At least that's what the Legal Department at Grendku Industries is telling me. And I don't mess with those people. If you wanna call them "people". Which isn't exactly accurate. Darth from all of us at Grendku Industries: Here's to your Health and Hoping for Healing with Haste Award. Yeah, it appears hurried but hopefully the humble but heartfelt hue will not have its hint hidden.
Dragonfly zooms in and sings us a sad tale of her trifecta of tearful troubles and zips away. Hopefully the financial damage isn't too severe. Upon finding the correct letter the first thing that came to mind was "oh crap". Thusly the letter C was summoned for this award. Dragonly unto you is weepily given The Crazed Consumption Chased by the Cheerless Crushing Crash and Concluded with the Chilling Credit Card Calamity Award. I hope all is well.
Vegasgustan's muse spake to him about Newbs in Bed. Yea verily she did. And I'm assuming his muse is a she. Mainly because mine is. And I'm assuming that she appears either scantily clad or completely naked. Mainly because mine does. I'm also assuming she... wait a sec. I'm getting a bit side tracked here.. Sorry 'bout that. Let's get on with it shall we... and he shared these things with us in 'kuish splendor all his own. And it was good. Vegas this week you take home the Amateurish Amorous Adventures in Attaining Artful and Accomplished Affectionate Acts Award. That's quite a mouthful. Which is fitting for this award.
MooCow takes on *the* most serious topic brought to us EVER in a Grendku. That much-debated issue of the decision to change Brak's mother's voice in The Brak Show Starring Brak. This is a messy topic indeed. Almost makes me think of afterbirth as opposed to aftermath, because it's just that bloody. And it spawned a debate that has nearly ripped this country apart. Thusly, the afterbirth thing again. Moo felt it was his civic duty to end it here and now, for the good of all. Brak's Mom-voice #1 Rules. Brak's Mom-voice #2 Droolz. Moo unto you is shall be granted 1,000 imaginary virgins for saving the country yet again (remember that first incident with the sweaty shoe insole, empty pez dispenser and gummy bears - the nation is still in your debt) and British Bitch Busted the Best Boobtube Ball on the Books Let's Bust her Behind Award. Moo, once again, as usual, you rock.
That's it. I'm leaving. I'm all alliterated out. Or consonated out. Or something. Definitely or something.
Predictable stormfronts and morons, nature's way of reminding us that natural selection is alive and well in this day and age. I'm not sure if there is any other testament needed to the fact that we've grown into a lazy and stupid country. I mean c'mon people. She lives in Oil Country and can't frelling get gas! Kate snaps up the Roughly Rattled and Ravingly Reeling From Rita and Impugning Impractical and Imprudent Idiots Award. Double letter award no less!
Beo's creation this week makes me cry. And just when I stop crying to make an award for it, I have to reread it to get back in the mood to write the award. And I start crying again. There is so much in the way of Aftermath in this one. Getting up and going to work day after day... ok.. I've just gotta try to get the award out for this one and move on... Beo gets the Angry at Antagonistic and Anal Austrians for yet Another Assault on His Ability to Actually Attain Arcadian Actualization Award. Sweet jeebus. That was a keyboardful there. I think I broke a pinkie. Wait, no.. it's just crooked. Like it's always been. Genetics are so cool.
Miss Kendra blazes into the uncharted territories of high math and quantum mechanics this week in her 'ku creation. For her creative contribution to all things 'kuish we bestow unto her the Teaching Trigonometrics Tween Temporal Tedium Takes Tenacity and Tempered Tones Award. You are advised to never speak this award aloud. Grendku Industries is not responsible for any sprained tongues due to attempts to articulate this award. You have been warned.
Dewdew's Math of the After should sound familiar to all of us. Put in a long week at work, go home for the weekend, clean the house, which means scrape the bodily fluids off the walls and ceiling from last weekend, and apply a fresh new coat. Or is that just me? I seriously doubt it. Dewdew I am standing proud and presenting you with the one and only Overjoyed Ode to Observing the On-again-Off-again Orgasmic Overrunning Organic Overlay Award. Which sounds like it should come with a putty scraper, but it doesn't. I know you have your own anyway.
Darth, welcome back! You were sorely missed, sir. Ok, the "Life Support" thing, yeah, that's scaring me a little. Please say you were joking. Please? Pretty please with sugar and spice? The word around here is that you are contractually bound to stick around with the living to provide us with your contributions towards Grendku Friday. At least that's what the Legal Department at Grendku Industries is telling me. And I don't mess with those people. If you wanna call them "people". Which isn't exactly accurate. Darth from all of us at Grendku Industries: Here's to your Health and Hoping for Healing with Haste Award. Yeah, it appears hurried but hopefully the humble but heartfelt hue will not have its hint hidden.
Dragonfly zooms in and sings us a sad tale of her trifecta of tearful troubles and zips away. Hopefully the financial damage isn't too severe. Upon finding the correct letter the first thing that came to mind was "oh crap". Thusly the letter C was summoned for this award. Dragonly unto you is weepily given The Crazed Consumption Chased by the Cheerless Crushing Crash and Concluded with the Chilling Credit Card Calamity Award. I hope all is well.
Vegasgustan's muse spake to him about Newbs in Bed. Yea verily she did. And I'm assuming his muse is a she. Mainly because mine is. And I'm assuming that she appears either scantily clad or completely naked. Mainly because mine does. I'm also assuming she... wait a sec. I'm getting a bit side tracked here.. Sorry 'bout that. Let's get on with it shall we... and he shared these things with us in 'kuish splendor all his own. And it was good. Vegas this week you take home the Amateurish Amorous Adventures in Attaining Artful and Accomplished Affectionate Acts Award. That's quite a mouthful. Which is fitting for this award.
MooCow takes on *the* most serious topic brought to us EVER in a Grendku. That much-debated issue of the decision to change Brak's mother's voice in The Brak Show Starring Brak. This is a messy topic indeed. Almost makes me think of afterbirth as opposed to aftermath, because it's just that bloody. And it spawned a debate that has nearly ripped this country apart. Thusly, the afterbirth thing again. Moo felt it was his civic duty to end it here and now, for the good of all. Brak's Mom-voice #1 Rules. Brak's Mom-voice #2 Droolz. Moo unto you is shall be granted 1,000 imaginary virgins for saving the country yet again (remember that first incident with the sweaty shoe insole, empty pez dispenser and gummy bears - the nation is still in your debt) and British Bitch Busted the Best Boobtube Ball on the Books Let's Bust her Behind Award. Moo, once again, as usual, you rock.
That's it. I'm leaving. I'm all alliterated out. Or consonated out. Or something. Definitely or something.
12 Comments:
my trophy shelf is bending under this award's weight.
good show!
Beo: Sucks when your only mutant ability is crooked pinkies. I'm ashamed to show up for Superhero conventions.
Miss Kendra: Your awards will now all be specially crafted. Made of only the lightest airplane grade aluminum. Hollowed out in the middle and filled with helium to displace some of their weight. Why? Because we here at Grendku Industries aim to please.
Can I have my awards made out of peeps then?
Only if you let me cement them together with what I am going to call a "special substance".
Thank you. I accept this award and dedicate to any man who has ever uttered the phrase, "Oh god, this has never happened to me before. I can go longer I swear it."
And we appreciate it Vegas. I mean.. *ahem* I'm sure they appreciate it Vegas.
I'll...uh...pass.
Grend, you kick ass. As always, wonderful awards.
You should get the Awesomely Astounding Awarder Award. Or something just as good. :)
~K (who's glad she can't be named in Vegas Gustan's dedication, lol... although she can think of a few guys who are)
Thanks again.
As always, typing with one hand,
-Dewdew
You are all most welcome.
As always, typing with the pen in my mouth.
thank you for the award-and yeah, all i can say about life support is...i think they gave me terri shiavo's feeding tube.
Once again you have outdone yourself...
Thanks
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