Grendku Friday Awards Ceremony
*Grend31 walks out reluctantly on stage wearing a pink leotard and tutu and holding a piece of pink paper*
Before this awards ceremony begins I would like to take a moment to read the following prepared statement:
"I, Grend31, would like to formally and sincerely apologize for any harm I may have caused the judges of the Grendku Friday Academy in any of my previously interactions with them. I would also like to apologize to the audience for y'all having to watch this spectacle. Hopefully the judges accept this apology because I've seen the wardrobe for next week and I'm not torturing you all by appearing in nothing but a pink speedo."
Now, on with the Grendku Friday Awards Ceremony.
This week had the judges particularly busy as we had quite a turn out.
The Non-Kosher Death Threat Award goes to Beo for his ditty Die Like a Pig. Beo we hope you obfuscated your IP address in that post, as we're sure Blogger will be sent a subpoena requesting your identifying information due to your terroristic plans of justice. Let's hope they don't know how to track down Biff Biggles.
A* steps up in excellent form with My Ass easily clenching, I mean clinching the usually ever-elusive ViralTech Warfare Award. Typically we report these viral infections to ISPs. On this day, we award them and shower them with praise and love.
Jesster makes an appearance this week clinching the Our Starving Pet WILL Eat Anything Award with Demented Cat. Bad Kittay! My left thigh!
The Audiophonics Award goes to dewdew for his piece entitled Cheap Whore. An investigation has sprung up in reaction to this Grendku to see if Blogger is in fact getting a 20-spot for every error message it gives.
The judges were deeping touched by Paula's piece Nucking Futs. So touched they are giving her the Special Touch Award. You will be given a 50' head start if you wish to flee this award Paula. I recommend you take it.
And MooCow shows up this contest as a surprise contestant totally taking the judges aback with his traditionalist pair of haikus. Which aren't technically Grendkus, but the judges feel it necessary to award this bold honoring of the ancient ways. Thusly MooCow wins the coveted Brassy Pair Award.
Before this awards ceremony begins I would like to take a moment to read the following prepared statement:
"I, Grend31, would like to formally and sincerely apologize for any harm I may have caused the judges of the Grendku Friday Academy in any of my previously interactions with them. I would also like to apologize to the audience for y'all having to watch this spectacle. Hopefully the judges accept this apology because I've seen the wardrobe for next week and I'm not torturing you all by appearing in nothing but a pink speedo."
Now, on with the Grendku Friday Awards Ceremony.
This week had the judges particularly busy as we had quite a turn out.
The Non-Kosher Death Threat Award goes to Beo for his ditty Die Like a Pig. Beo we hope you obfuscated your IP address in that post, as we're sure Blogger will be sent a subpoena requesting your identifying information due to your terroristic plans of justice. Let's hope they don't know how to track down Biff Biggles.
A* steps up in excellent form with My Ass easily clenching, I mean clinching the usually ever-elusive ViralTech Warfare Award. Typically we report these viral infections to ISPs. On this day, we award them and shower them with praise and love.
Jesster makes an appearance this week clinching the Our Starving Pet WILL Eat Anything Award with Demented Cat. Bad Kittay! My left thigh!
The Audiophonics Award goes to dewdew for his piece entitled Cheap Whore. An investigation has sprung up in reaction to this Grendku to see if Blogger is in fact getting a 20-spot for every error message it gives.
The judges were deeping touched by Paula's piece Nucking Futs. So touched they are giving her the Special Touch Award. You will be given a 50' head start if you wish to flee this award Paula. I recommend you take it.
And MooCow shows up this contest as a surprise contestant totally taking the judges aback with his traditionalist pair of haikus. Which aren't technically Grendkus, but the judges feel it necessary to award this bold honoring of the ancient ways. Thusly MooCow wins the coveted Brassy Pair Award.
8 Comments:
I would like to thank the pink swathed judge for my clenching..uh clinching award...
*sniff sniff*
Oh if I were only a real judge. Alas I am but their puppet. A toy really. But it moves me to think that you believe I could wield such power.
Damnit. A beat me with the "I'd like to thank..." comment. Stupid east coast timezone. Pfft.
MooCow is +2 to be hit by all EST posts. AND he takes double damage from them.
There will be no pink speedo. I've drawn the line in the sand. I'll spare you the details of how I drew it. But it involved recycled beer.
Now now kids...don't go hating the EST. It's nothing personal. Don't get jealous just 'cause I am not subtracting an hour from everything. Of course some wise-ass soul is going to argue that I add an hour but...
Oh Christ. Fuck it.
Oh no! A* has fallen victim to the bitter temporal mechanics beast! Medic!
*runs away as fast as she can*
And she's off! Fortunately for you Paula the judges are fat lazy bast... Oh wait. *thinks of pink speedo...*
*Ahem* Let me start over here.
And she's off! The judges, however, have far too many important "judging" things to do so they shan't be running you down.
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