this vaguely coherent stream of consciousness awards ceremony is brought to you by...

the letter f.

which begins a word that details exactly how I feel this morning. i think you know which one it is.

shoving off and moving past all that...

katehopeeden starts us off... wait a sec. katehopeeden didn't "start things off". that's far too mild of a description. katehopeeden shares her pain and joy... yeah I think that's a little more accurate... katehopeeden shares her pain and joy in a haiku, grendku, mooku trio which I feel like calling sometimes from malaise comes mirth. wow, what can i say. i smiled at the joy your daughters give you, i winced at the pain of having love lost. thank you for the heartfelt and open contribution to the grendku friday tradition. i'm having some difficulty coming up with an award that is worthy of your creation, but here goes: katehopeeden i render unto you The Fearless Forthcoming of Feelings Award. looks likes it's going to be an "f" based awards ceremony.

beo loads both barrels and gives us a belly shot in his grendku i am dubbing www-dot-wankingatwork-dot-com. and for gods sakes people, please don't try and see if that url is live, because i just don't want to know. beo reminds those of us who have jobs that slowly nibble around the edges of your soul until there is nothing left that we must find ways to dull the pain. ok, i need to start thinking positively or i'm not going to make it through the day here. beo, unto you i grant this I Fark Myself Hard But Management Manages to Frell Me Even Harder Award. This award should come with a tub of vaseline and a book on stretching, but the budget is really in the toilet here at Grendku Industries this week. whaaat? there were some f's in there. you want more f's? fine, f-off! there's four! five if you count the four. i'm getting lost in all the f's. f-it.

dewdew shares his aversion to pants which he eloquently details in his mooku cloaking device. while i share this aversion with dewdew to a degree, one must admit that a nice set of black latex form fitters do have their time and place. well, i guess it's too late for that now. dewdew has condemned all pants to the hottest parts of hades. and who am i to argue? dew-dew unto you-you i grant the Fashion Forsaken to the Fiery Fathoms of Flameland Award. I'm pretty sure levis-strauss just put a hit out on you. watch your back. while you're not watching all the chicks. without pants.

serra whips out her mad grendku kung fu skillz and gets medieval all over our asses in purgatory's porch. now typically when the hot chicks are leaving all their grendku's about their sweaty heaving bosoms all over my blog i rack this up.. *snicker* " (i said rack) this up to my overwhelming masculine-scented uber-hot-boy blog which has pheromones that aphrodite herself couldn't resist. but not in this case! this is actually about her porch folks. therefore it's art.. not porn! now, if you don't mind, i'm going to try to bring myself back to reality to get an award out here. serra, for giving me the chance to escape the reality that my blog gets hit on less than hermit in his hovel and that i have all the charisma of a demonic garden gnome, i bestow the Forever Favorable for the Fabulous Fantasy Award.

dragonfly pines for a carefree pet in her grendku auto-cleaning avian abode. i think there would be some serious money in that. if Grendku Industries wasn't pinching our pennies right now, i'd sic my development team all over that product. sadly we've sunk to trying to stick one another with the domino's bill and stiffing the driver for a tip. yeah, it's that bad. fortunately my development team was able to come up with this stunning award for your grendku: Frell the Flightless Friend's Flat, Flip through Fiction First Award. bastards are charging me overtime for it too.

moo can't stop himself from writing about all the blog-touching he's been receiving. why you might ask? because he loves it so. of course. i'm calling his haiku sigh. and we all know it was one of those contented sighs. like after a long tumble between the sheets where you finally disengage, throw yourself back against the pillow... and sigh. so unto moo is given the All My Friends Fondle Me and I Find it Fetching Award.

and last but certainly not least vegasgustan teases me with deadwood in his grendku my screen time is precious! not that he knew he was teasing me. it's just that i so want to get to that series, but it's bloody well way down in my netflix queue. ok, wait, we have a grendku with the word masturbation in it. and we aren't talking about mental masturbation here folks. it's the real deal. that soooo gets a big fat frelling award. and i'm switching letters on you people, i must, for my muse totally went all apeshit with "w" on this one, so shift the appropriate gears. vegas you earn the Wanking and the Wife Weave a Wonderfully Wicked Web Award for your haiku I am calling the w's.

i'd like to thank every last one of you for your contributions to this edition. i'd like apologize in conclusion for the quantity of spelling errors, grammatical errors, political lambasting, religious fervor, sexist jokes made in this post. next week i'll try to make more as we all know these are the hallmark of great writing.