Stress Test
On Monday. Apparently they hook up a bunch of wires after they shave you like sheep and make you run like a hamster on a wheel. Really looking forward to it... oh wait.. no I'm not. I'm so not stressed. I mean, I don't think I have any more stresses than the average joe and I cope pretty well overall. But I guess that's not what this is really all about. I'll letcha all know when my pump shows up all in the clear. Which it really should. No history of any heart issues in my family other than an uncle who really liked his fats, saturated and un.
Oh, I already have the next topic picked for GOTH Friday. And it won't be anything nearly as easy as Goths this time around so stretch yer Haiku muscles early this week. I don't want any injuries.
Oh, I already have the next topic picked for GOTH Friday. And it won't be anything nearly as easy as Goths this time around so stretch yer Haiku muscles early this week. I don't want any injuries.
9 Comments:
Here's exactly what will happen (cuz I had one about 2 years ago):
1. You will enter a room with 2 nurses, preferrably female, one holding a razor.
2. The room will contain a cot, a treadmill and a bunch of those hospital type machines with blinky lights and stuff.
3. You will remove your shirt and a nurse will shave parts of your chest, coming dangerously close to your nipples.
4. Your newly shaved areas will be cleaned with alcohol.
5. Applied to your new shiny areas will be 10-12 electrodes with far-too-strong adhesive patches.
6. An EKG will be taken at rest.
7. You will be asked to climb aboard the treadmill and get your heart rate up to around 120, and EKG monitoring will continue.
8. You will maintain this rate for a few minutes, and then you will be asked to get your heart rate up to around 140 for a few minutes.
9. Then, the nazi-nurse will command you to increase your heart rate to around 160, and maintain that for a few minutes.
10. If you are lucky, you will be asked to increase your rate to around 180 and keep it there until they are done laughing at your shaved nipples.
11. You will be asked to stop.
12. Another EKG will be taken while your heart returns to its normal rate, which could take anywhere from a few minutes until perhaps sometime next Tuesday.
13. You will have the adhesive patches visciously torn off, since there is no other way.
14. You will put your shirt back on over your nearly-bleeding sores.
15. You will return home to your wife who will give you a nice hug and make your favorite dinner for you.
You'll make it.
Ffffine. What would you like for dinner?
Oh, and after dinner, she will kiss all of your sore spots.
This is sounding better by the second.
I'm thinking your aren't going to have to worry too much about supper dear. Appointment is at 1.. can't eat three hours before. I'm going to get home after 2 probably and be completely ravenous.
Hi-la-ri-ous dewdew!! :-)
Seriously Grend you will be fine. Plus you will be out of work early. They do it on purpose so you can treat your newly-shaved wounds.
Yeah, I actually don't work at all that day. So I'll be just fine.
Having seen Grend31 without his shirt, you might want to replace "razor" with "electric sheep shearer."
Thanks Alice.
Moo,
Thus the phrase "shave you like a sheep" was used in my post. Actually the paramedics had but a Bic razor and seemed to do just fine with that.
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