Grendku Thursday: Better Late than Never

Clearly one of my new years resolutions should be been to be more timely. It isn't Thursday, and yet, according to the title it is. I could blow a lot of smoke up yer tush and say how the Lair has bizarre properties that can bend the space-time continuum to my whim, or that time simply doesn't exist anyway, but truth be known, I'm just late.

The theme for this week has clearly been chosen for me: Tardiness.
Format: I'm feeling generous, let's say any 'ku form is game again.

To get things moving:

I'm guessing that I am late
to life and that work
is my deserved detention

Grendku Awards Ceremony: The Declarations of Directions Version

Our motif: The New Year and the Proclamations, Promises and Purported Purposes that sometimes follow.

Let us see what has leaked from your collective gray matter:

Ken wrote:

I believe in new years.
Year closer to the death.
Welcome world of Birthright.

Oh, this was tasty. Likening New Years to Santa Claws. Something to believe in, something to fear. Put this on your mantle Ken, pay no heed to the moist crimson drip coming from it:

The Grotesquely Grimly Glorious Groan of Gloom Garnished with the Gaiety of Grisly and Gory Gaming Award

katehopeeden unleashed the following 'ku barrage:

[haiku]
Grendku Thursday is
tomorrow, I'll be absent
Here is my grendku

Kate reminds us that we all have more important places to be than the Lair. And for this poignant reminder she earns:

The Extending her Exhibition of Eloquence whilst Endeavouring in Earthly Exploits Elsewhere Award

[grendku]
I know I have been absent
From the internet
Don't take it personally

She's trying to soothe the pain of her absence gentle reader, but we all know that nothing can truly dull it. Let's lie to her in the hopes that someday, somehow, the wounds will close and offer her:

The Easing us for the Excrutiating Event of her Extended Escape from the Electronic Express-way Award

[mooku]
metamorphosis
I am surrounded by it
and it is kinda fun

Apparently there is fun in change, who knew? Change scares the willies out of me, but Kate rises above the fear and earns:

The Procuring Pleasure while Pondering Piles of Perpetual Permutations Award

[mooku]
maybe if I had
made new year's resolutions
I would be online more

The assumption at this point is that you've been so busy you did not even have time to make resolutions. In the spirit of this assumption we offer unto you:

The Humbly Happy to Have Her Hefty Horde of Haikus when it's Handy for Her Award

[beoku]
The beoku is hard
Six syllables? tricky
props on my mookus though?

This meta-ku is wicked clever. She wants us to believe that she's all worn out. Clearly she's not. But we'll play along and create an award in stream of consciousness she's sent us paddling down. Kate, please catch your breath and accept:

The Beleaguered by the Bounty of her Brainchildren but Bedeviled by the Beoku Award

[kateku]
Kateku
I like the kateku haiku
because it's named after me

Few souls in this world can claim to have a 'ku from attributed to them. She's here, and she's proud of it. As she should be. Kate to close out this ceremony, please somehow make space amongst all your other awards to accept:

The Boldly Basking in the Brilliance of the Being Branded in the Build Award

And that (w)raps up another Awards Ceremony gentle readers.

Grendku Thursday

Alright friends, foes, fellow fiends and foreigners:

This will be a free-for-all end of the year 'ku-fest.

Our theme for this round is Resolutions for the New Year.

Not limited to 2011 resolutions to come, they can also be reflections upon 2010 or even further back.

Recap of 'ku forms:

haiku: 5-7-5

grendku: 7-5-7

mooku: 5-7-6

beoku: 6-6-6

kateku: 2-7-7

I shall begin with a high calorie kateku:

my god

how the fark did i become

so thick about the waistline?

And follow up with a round house mooku:

gee i wonder how

mister eats way too much food

i really do wonder

And finish with a grendku:

perhaps this year i shall find

deep within myself

resolve and moderation

Grendku Awards Ceremony: The Peaceful Trading Folk Version

We have three entries this week from two different contributors. Behold the power The Lair. This week it feels as if my Lair was looted and pillaged by a horde of Norsemen. I'm not sure why, but it may affect the awards slightly. Now the theme for these 'kus was to be "The Wrongness". I started this off using a simple 'ku to express my displeasure about light cycles travelling in anything other than 90 degree angles.

Our first award goes to the Moo Due (that's doo-ay) for taking one of my degrees: 

Accommodating his Angular Affinity while Artfully Articulating his Ardent Amour in Awe Award 

 

Read it and weep people:

Moo 2.0 wrote...

The female must be
Eighty nine degrees because
she sure is acute

 

The second award goes to Tulip for her harrowing tale of plastic people crunching numbers:

 

The Saga of Synthetic Slaves Slogging Slowly for the Sake of this Study Subject's Swan Song Award

Hope you saved some tears dear readers, 'cause this all sorts of wrong:

Tulip wrote..

I hate finance class
Barbie says that MATH IS HARD
The end is in sight


Our third and last award goes again to Mr. Moo the 2nd , Esq. who brings us to the pinnacle of Wrongness, then throws us off:

That Wicked Witch of a Woman Wrapped in Wrongness is Willfully Wantonly Wailing, Whacking and Womping on our World Without Welcome, Wisdom or Wit Award

 

Just when you thought those ducts were dry:

Moo 2.0 wrote...

Sarah palin. Sar-
ah palin. Sarah palin.
Sarah palin sucks.